Banana

                         *The phone rings and its my grandmother*
Hi Banana!
"What do you want?"
You called our house phone remember?
"Shut up and let me talk to your mother"
Okay...?

                         That's a pretty normal conversation with her. She will never usually just say hi when we call her or she calls us. It's always "What do you want?" or "You people bother me, why did you call?" She never tries to be be mean, she's just old and can't help it.

                           

                          *I'm in the kitchen cooking, the door flies open, I look over and it's Banana.*
Hi Banana!
 "What are you burning?"
Nothing I'm making eggplant parm.
 "Well it smells bad"
 Thanks!
"Shut up your doing it wrong and stop cooking on burn."
Would you like to cook it for me then?
"Move over I'm doing it."
Okay.

                              She is really a sweet old lady I promise... 

                           *We are in the car parked in a parking lot of a store waiting for my mom to come back out. The windows are down and a lady walks by*
"Wow lady you're fat."
Banana! you can't say that! what if she heard you?!
 "Good maybe she'll do something about it and be able to touch her toes someday."
Here we go...
                           *A rather strange old man with a long gray beard with shorts that are just a bit too short on walks by*

"OH GOOD! Look Francesca, its your new grandpa!"
That's it...

*I hop in the drivers seat and drive the car to the back of the parking lot*

see what I have to do. I have to isolate you now because you have no filter.
"Just because you moved us back here doesn't mean I'm going to stop talking."
Yeah I didn't think you would, but at least the people you insult can't hear you.